Steps to Getting Groceries

10 Steps to getting groceries in the US (~30 min)
1. Find keys, wallet
2. Get in car, open garage door with a push of a button
3. Drive to store
4. Get cart inside store and fill it
5. Pay. They bag your groceries with store bags
6. Take cart to your car, unload groceries into the car
7. Put the cart back in the "Return cart" spot
8. Drive home
9. Unload groceries from garage to your house
10. Close garage door with a push of a button

Getting groceries in Albertville (~ 2 hours)
1. Find key to bike lock, wallet, bike helmet, bike basket, bags for groceries
2. Unlock bike which is in the basement, walk bike up a flight of stairs and outside
3. Attach basket to back of bike. Load with bags and purse
4. Bike to the store
5. Lock bike in bike rack
6. Get cart by paying a Euro into the slot in the handle to unattach it from the one in front of it.
7. Fill cart. Consider it a victory if you only walk through the aisles twice.
8. Pay. Try to speak a little French and understand the number of Euros they asked for.
9. Panic. Throw all groceries back in the cart as fast as you can so the next person does not have to wait on you.
10. Take cart outside to the bike.
11. Wonder how you are going to fit it all in the basket.
12. Wonder why you bought so much food
13. Carefully put the groceries in bags and the basket so that the eggs don't break and the fruit doesn't smush. (~10 min)
14. Unlock bike
15. Awkwardly balance the heavy bike and carry bags while pushing your grocery cart back
16. Awkwardly balance the heavy bike while you put the grocery cart back with your third hand and retrieve your Euro
17. Bike to the next store to get the 3 items that were not found in the first grocery store.
18. Lock bike
19. Carry in heavy basket of food and bags. Put the groceries from first grocery store behind the counter at the customer service desk
20. Repeat steps 7-9
21. Wait in line at the customer service desk to get your other groceries back
22. Repeat steps 10-14
23. Bike back home (the fun part!)
24. Go over a speed bump and hope nothing falls and the eggs don't break
25. Yell up to your open 3rd floor window for help in carrying groceries
26. 2-3 people come down to carry all the groceries up 3 flights of stairs to the apartment
27. Take bike down the flight of stairs and lock it
28. Walk up 4 flights of stairs
29. Put away groceries
30. Throw pizza into oven because you are too tired to cook the food you just spent the afternoon getting.

 Repeat every 3 days

I failed- I'll blog another day

Somehow I thought that when residency was over and I just had to focus on mainly one thing- learning French- for the year, that I would have plenty of time to invest in items of importance that I had set aside. I dreamt of spending time blogging, reading about Congo and the hospital we will be going to, reading a lot to keep current with OB/GYN, writing to the many people who support us financially and in prayer. But I have failed. 

It seems like I go to class, get groceries and cook, play with Sydney, and read emails pretty consistently. I play volleyball or meet with my language partner for French learning. But those extras- I just haven't been able to prioritize them. I will sit down to the computer to write a blog and get distracted with Facebook, or Sydney will want something that Ryan cannot give her, or the gal in the apartment below us will go into labor rapidly and need assistance (true story). And then I'll tell myself that I can blog another day. But here it has been a month, and I've only written one blog. And I still haven't started the book on Congo. 

So here is my confession. I know I don't need to strive for perfection. People are not clinging to every word I say. My worth is not in what I do or how many people like my status on Facebook, but my worth comes from who I am as a child of God. Also, I have to keep reminding myself that this is not a 2-4 week mission trip which I can keep up a significant pace with an expectation that I can rest at the end, compile my pictures, and make a presentation. I need to establish a pace at which we can comfortably live, giving those interested a peek into our lives through regular (even if not as frequent) and good (even if not particularly clever or creative) writing. 

Faux Pas- lost in translation

• Went to the local butcher to get some hamburger. Didn't know any words except boeuf (which I was guessing was "beef") so I said "boeuf" and then made a chopping motion with my hands. Then I watched, somewhat painfully, as they took a nice steak and put it in the grinder. I got my hamburger. But at that price, I would have taken the steak!!
• Went to the local shop. Couldn't understand the shop keeper's French, so she switched to Spanish. Which I understood. So, of course I responded--in French! Oh she was so confused. As was I. 
• I was trying to say that I needed to ask questions of someone who speaks French as his native language. However, what the nice French guy told me that I said with my limited vocabulary was, "I need a French man." Which was inappropriate.
• Joined a local volleyball club. Couldn't remember how to say, "mine," in French, so I just made some noise.
• First I thought the middle school girls that I played volleyball were asking if I was in college. The next week, I thought they had asked me if I was in middle school (because I learned that the French call middle school collège.) And the third week, I realized they asked me how old I was. "Quel age?" KELL AHJ
• The French greet with kisses on both cheeks. But when one is not accustomed to the greeting, it can be surprising. And then the side of the cheek which you kiss on first becomes very important. Otherwise, you might just get a real kiss.
• Unfortunate translations: Someone called Sydney a Poupée (POO- PAY) which means baby doll. To say "I buy," it sounds like you say "I shet." J'achète. 
• For a whole month in volleyball, I thought people kept yelling at me to get the ball when it came over the net. I heard, "Shan-noo" just thinking that they couldn't say my name well. Alas, this week I found out they were saying, "Chez nous," (SHAY-NEW) which means something like "our house" as in the ball is going to come over the net to our side. Hopefully they don't think I'm a ball hog, and I will stop running after all those balls.
• Dr. Tim Rice, our ministry partner, told the teacher that he was hot (similar to saying he was in heat) instead of saying that he felt hot during one of our first classes, to which she said, "Oh no, you only say that to your wife! Never in class." Ha! He said, "Je suis chaud" (JU SWEE SHOW) instead of "J'ai chaud." (JAY SHOW). 
• Ryan was trying to get the correct pronunciation down in class. After several tries, he said the exact same thing (to his ears) in a falsetto voice and the teacher told him that he did well. Thereafter, all the guys in the class pronounced the French words with falsetto voices. 
• Apparently, there is a phrase in French that they say when you make a lucky shot or the ball rolls over the net which is translated, "you have pasta in your butt." Not sure why that is thought to be particularly lucky, but some days we don't have pasta at all.